"A person who thinks all the time
Has nothing to think about except thoughts
So, he loses touch with reality
And lives in a world of illusions
By thoughts, I mean specifically, chatter in the skull
Perpetual and compulsive repetition of words
Of reckoning and calculating
I'm not saying that thinking is bad
Like everything else, it's useful in moderation
A good servant, but a bad master"- Alan Watts
I have been branded by those who know me as one who thinks all the time. I have also had my distance from reality called into question frequently throughout my life. How detached from reality I may or may not be was unimportant to me until my psychiatrist suggested anti-psychotics to help with the problem. The short version is that I decided against the medication. However, this led to lengthy examination of the situation. I was listening to a track called "Overthinker" by the artist INZO. I came upon it somewhat randomly, as it is not my style of music. The words, at first, meant little. I like the old grainy recording and spoken-word tone added over the music. Bits and pieces of what was being said made it through, and I had to start it over and listen. My initial thoughts were defensive. As if the words, said before I was born, had somehow criticized me personally. At least this first section. As the song and excerpts of the lecture continued, I tended to agree more, but did not become fixated on it. I will include it towards the end for the curious.
"A person who thinks all the time
Has nothing to think about except thoughts
So, he loses touch with reality
And lives in a world of illusions"
I understand what he means by this. If you live mentally in a perpetual state of analyzing everything around you, you become somewhat distant from reality.
I find this is actually true, though I do not consider it to be inherently negative. I am not sure to what extent I actually have control over the way my brain fixates and dissects things. Nature versus nurture. Predeterminism or free will. Perhaps a mixture. I doubt I will get to the bottom of such things in my lifetime, but the result is the incomplete explanation that "my brain just does what it does." To endlessly probe and question everything is just what comes naturally to me. From what my mother has told me, I have always just been this way.
As for losing touch with reality, I believe the idea is correct, but the interpretation of what that means is where I take issue. - One can lose touch with reality in sense of psychosis. Psychosis is a set of symptoms that make it difficult to distinguish reality from what is not real. Hallucinations, delusions, disordered thinking or speaking, confusion, withdrawing, etc. One can clinically lose touch with reality.
That sometimes seems to be the only understanding of the notion of losing touch with reality. That is likely why my psychiatrist would suggest medication to help. However, it overlooks the cause. Medication would treat the symptom. If that symptom is the result of a chemical imbalance or disorder, then it would be an appropriate treatment. What effect would have if that is not the case, though? I am coming to an understanding that how I view things is seen by others as a disconnect from reality, but I do not believe it has anything to do with a treatable disorder. I feel like that is an easy conclusion to draw because of my other issues, so no one looks further. I believe it is a result of my life experiences and choices, which when combined with something ineffable within me, appears as a similar looking symptom. How I processed childhood trauma surely had a helping hand in teaching me to distance myself from reality as a coping mechanism. From an early age, I began to learn and develop the ability and essentially got an early start on exercising that ability.
Having OCD and other mental disorders from birth, and having no memories without it, gave me an opportunity to feel like an "other" from the start. I seemed to be perceiving a different reality from those around me. I was self-aware enough to hide and mask my behavior if I could because I realized I did not see it in others. How my OCD caused my brain to panic and prioritize things in life allowed me to compare the subjective values I placed on things in life and silently evaluate that it did not seem to align with those around me. If I expressed what caused me concern, I would receive strange looks and seemingly no understanding. Granted, I would not expect other youths to be hyperaware of mental disorders they may be seeing signs of, nor have the life experience to recognize it even if they had the information.
Those two things in combination could not be expected to have no effect. You have an exacerbated ability to distance yourself from reality, almost as if I were just an observer of things I could not control. Paired with it is an internal complex where I had alienated myself from others by comparison.
From there, my interests have leaned towards philosophy, which is eternally questioning the meaning of everything and the subjective value of everything. Taking these three factors, it is not really that strange that I would seem to lose touch with reality. My mind is often residing in places that others do not want to go. When I look at the world around me, many things hold no value or interest to me in ways that others cannot understand. I also am not really trying to convince anyone to see things my way, so I often do not explain, as I doubt anyone really cares that much.
"A person who thinks all the time
Has nothing to think about except thoughts
So, he loses touch with reality
And lives in a world of illusions" Consistent and thorough investigation of the world around me, and the behavior of those who would be considered very in touch with reality, leads me to believe the accepted vision of reality is further from any true representation than people realize.
Show me why it would be better to be intertwined with it.
The heart of my discussion lies with that first section.
"By thoughts, I mean specifically, chatter in the skull
Perpetual and compulsive repetition of words
Of reckoning and calculating"
Watts has placed lower subjective value on this than having more "clear" mind, it would seem.
Consistent and perpetual reckoning and calculating is how most human brains seem to be wired, regardless of the hand they are dealt to work with. Survival is based on this notion, and it carries in animals as well. From what we can observe, it seems humans take it to a further degree.
The argument that it should be reigned in or controlled is generally agreed upon throughout human existence. Our nature has some sharp edges that we should smooth.
"I'm not saying that thinking is bad
Like everything else, it's useful in moderation
A good servant, but a bad master"
The notion that humans can simply silence their own thoughts and moderate when they employee the ability suggests a level of awareness and ability that is not known to be common. Therefore, it would require a great deal of effort and intention. Thinking, if you will. How the premise is worded seems almost paradoxical.
"A good servant, but a bad master" feels somewhat closer to reasonable. The sentiment would seem to agree with the historical proverbs about intentionally guarding what information we allow in, and what words we allow out. The most basic flaw seems to be that Watts, in the excerpts chosen and used, never defines what alternative is supposed to replace the negative he points out. There is not even a coherent false dichotomy presented. Only the notion that overthinking is bad, and the other side of the coin is an unidentified mystery. One you would seemingly be expected to pursue without thinking too much about it.
Included below is the remaining excerpts from Watts that were included in the song. I think it is worth noting that to arrive at the thoughts and words for Alan's lectures, I struggle to believe it required little to no thought. I would imagine that the issue lies in the assumed definitions of the terms used. When Alan believes he is not "thinking," whatever is likely occurring in his head would surely be considered "thought" by another, if we could ever share such experiences. Perhaps pondering philosophy is simply not categorized as "thought" by him because there is not end to the equation. No right answer. Something to think about.
"And all so-called civilized peoples
Have increasingly become crazy and self-destructive
Because, through excessive thinking
They have lost touch with reality
That's to say
We confuse signs
With the real world
This is the beginning of meditation
Most of us would have
Rather money than tangible wealth
And a great occasion is somehow spoiled for us unless photographed
And to read about it the next day in the newspaper
Is oddly more fun for us than the original event
This is a disaster
For as a result of confusing the real world of nature with mere signs
We are destroying nature
We are so tied up in our minds that we've lost our senses
Time to wake up
What is reality?
Obviously no one can say
Because it isn't words
It isn't material, that's just an idea
Reality is
The point cannot be explained in words
I'm not trying to put you down
It's an expression of you as you are
One must live
We need to survive, to go on
We must go on" - Alan Watts
